Human Chemistry 101

I bet a lot of the time we really don't know what it is about someone that makes us either adore or repel them. Some people just rub us the right or wrong way, whatever that means.

Just as people will have varying effects on me, I will have varying effects on others. I find I can be friends with most types of people, but every once in awhile I come across someone that, for whatever reason, can't stand me. Several years ago I went to an old college friend's wedding. When we were in college, he was in a frat, and I was friends with more than a few of his frat brothers, who were also at the wedding. I went to their table to say hello, and got to meet all their significant others. It was cordial, though superficial and slightly awkward (they were all still close; I lost contact almost right after graduation), but nice to see that they were healthy and generally happy. I kept it short with everyone but one, who, in college, was a best friend. After mere seconds, we were excitedly catching up, rehashing old jokes, and having a good time. The conversation was abundant and refreshingly effortless. We'll call him "Kevin."

All of a sudden, the wife of someone who had been a friend to me in college came over, stepped in the middle of the conversation, and, completely disregarding my presence, said to Kevin, "Come dance." He looked at me with an expression of WTF, but I told him to go ahead.

Back Story: This wife, we'll say "Sheri," was the college girlfriend of her now husband, "Jerry." I mean, they didn't date anyone else as long as I knew them. Jerry and I were friends in that we had the same major, so were often classmates, and due to similar interests, also had some college activities in common. There was never romantic interest on either side, to be clear. As much as I saw Jerry, Sheri and I never talked to each other more than saying "hi." We simply did not run in the same circles, with the exception of the frat, and we made no effort to know each other. Well, apparently she really didn't like me, because there were several years between graduation and this wedding, and now she was incapable of even basic politeness. I couldn't begin to invent a reason for her behavior, and while her opinion is of no consequence to me, I must admit it's a curiosity.

I do live life trying not to be a jerk to anyone, yet occasionally my best efforts are thwarted by simple chemistry, the alignment of the planets, time of year, something in a past life, who knows. Just accept that sometimes it's them, and sometimes it's you.